So there’s this Liebster Blog Award chain making the rounds. I was picked by Marzio Ombra who shares a beautifully rendered web page with my good online acquantaince Narcisse Navarre at http://www.khajj.com/liebster-blog-award/. If you enjoy dark fantasy/erotica, you should go check them out.
So here are the Liebster Award rules as passed on to me:
1. Each nominee must answer the 11 questions passed on to them by the person who nominated them. (If you liked the questions they were asked by their nominator better, that’s just too bad for you!)
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. Create 11 questions for the next nominees to answer.
4. Choose 11 people and link them to your post.
5. No tag backs! (This rule was presented with an exclamation point, so I take it to be important.)
So, without further ado, here are Marzio’s questions and my answers.
1) Bad News! You were accidentally killed in a ridiculous stunt while partying with a drunken God. Good News! He feels terrible about the whole mess and has offered to return you to life. Bad News! Due to the complex and arcane rules dictating what the Gods and Goddesses can and cannot do, you cannot be revived as a human being! Good News! You can be brought back as any non-human race from fiction! Which race do you choose and why?
My first inclination is to say dragon, but some might quibble that dragons are a mythological creature, not a race. So, barring that, I would say a fey changeling creature as the Changelings of the World of Darkness setting or something similar. I’d rather be imbued with magic as opposed to having to study it like some wizard. Given a fey tie to a particular season I would, of course, choose Autumn.
2) Tomorrow at dawn you will be executed, but tonight you dine. What is your last meal?
BBQ ribs, a medium rare bacon-wrapped filet mignon, a fine Merlot, cheesecake, two Twix bars, and a wafer-thin mint.
3) Enough of Death, let’s try Life. Would you prefer mortality or immortality? If you choose mortality, how long would you like to live? Why?
Thing about “immortality” is that it is seldom immortal. Ask that Achilles fellow or the last vampire staked through the heart. So I’ll take immortal with the option of voluntarily snorting a wasabi pea up my nose as a way to end my existence, should things get too boring.
4) Someone who knows you quite well told me that you are like an animal but I forgot which one. What animal do you think they said and why on earth would they say such a thing?
I’ve been called a mouse, because I’m smallish, quiet, and sneaky. #rogue
5) What is the best prize you ever received and what did you do to win it?
6) Hot damn! They are making a movie of your life! Due to the complex and arcane rules dictating what Hollywood Gods can and cannot do, they have asked you to name who will direct this epic film and which actor/actress will play you. Who are they?
Johnny Depp/Scott Bakula. It’ll be the true story of a pirate who stumbled into a quantum flux and leaped into the body of a guy driving a Dodge truck. We’ll call it a tragedy with comedic appeal.
7) You have been banished! What in the Nine Hells did you do to deserve Exile and where will you go?
You see, that’s just it. I’m innocent. I had nothing to do with all… this. But I’m being sent to the Halo Sleep detention centre anyway.
8) We all have our moments. What is the absolute smartest and/or dumbest thing you have ever done?
I’m going to plead the fifth on this one.
9) What is your favorite movie adaptation of a book?
Off the top of my head, I thought The Green Mile was an excellent adaptation of the serial series by Stephen King. Lord of the Rings ranks high, too, even with the story changes.
10) The Sphinx owes you a boon for services rendered. She has agreed to answer one question with complete honesty & accuracy. What question would you ask?
So, what about those GMOs, anyway??
11) For some crazy reason, you decided to let the party God from Question 1 borrow your house last weekend and the nut completely trashed the place! While he did agree to have it cleaned up, he feels awful all the same. To patch up your friendship he hands you a “Re-Do” coin. It grants you one free “do-over” for any one event in your life. Do you use it right away or hold onto it for future needs?
Assuming a few things about this, I would choose to sleep in two hours later on May 28, 1989. Thus refreshed, I would use what knowledge I retain of the future to meet some people sooner, and meet others not at all. There are quite a few other things I will do, too, since this makes for a pretty good makeover. Such that you will not recognize your world at all. Of course, you won’t know that, but you’ll know me. Oh, and I’ve changed my name to Zod.
Now for my questions, which no doubt will shed much insight into the human condition and meaning of life.
1. This morning when you woke up, your brain was functioning differently. It may have been from eating all that GMO wheat all your life, bacon & eggs, or that time your mom washed your scalp with toxic chemicals. It’s hard to tell. But, more than likely, it was the wheat. The point is, today you’re different. You have either the mental ability of telekinesis, pyrokinesis, or telepathy. Which do you have, and why that one?
2. Imagine the animal you would describe yourself as. Now imagine the animal your friends would describe you as. Morph them together. What is this creature called?
3. Your uncle, who has always been a bit of a mad chemist after being released from that pharmaceutical company, has left a concoction on his basement workbench. The label on the side reads Inviso, and his notes nearby claim the effects last about 4 hours. Shrugging and imbibing the potion, you turn invisible. What do you do for the next 4 hours?
4. After drinking that potion and later watching Kick-Ass, you feel pretty damn inspired to go kick some ass yourself. So you create your own costume and get ready to set out and beat some butt. What does your do-gooder outfit look like?
5. When you wake next, you find yourself living in Westeros, sitting on the Iron Throne. Knowing that you’re probably going to need a bit of help if you want to keep that seat (and your head), which great House do you pick to aid you in your cause? Stark, Lannister, Greyjoy, Martell, Baratheon, or Targaryen? (You’re still going to die, though.)
6. The Gaming Gods smile upon you, and with all the power at their command have decided to let you alter reality to resemble any one RPG game setting. What setting do you pick?
7. The mischievous god Loki has decided to grant you one small boon. Every time someone carries out a pet peeve of yours that you witness, they experience a mild shock that increases in intensity with repetition. That should stop that pretty soon, eh? What pet peeve do you pick?
8. You’re offered your choice of a functional light sabre or an honest-to-gosh living fire-breathing pet dragon. Which do you choose?
9. Who is your favorite author?
10. You wake up one day and it suddenly hits you–if L. Ron Hubbard can create a brand-spanking new religion, why can’t you?? People are bound to flock to your faith, and think of all the tax exempt money! What’s the name of your new religion and its major tenet(s)?
11. You’ve died a rather gruesome death. Now your spirit haunts the earth. What act by those left behind will send you to your final rest?
As far as listing eleven nominees…I don’t follow that many, and I’ve never been a huge fan of chain emails etc. (which this is kind of like). But this one was a bit of fun. So if YOU, dear reader, want to answer those questions, jump right in. Consider yourself nominated. Post them to your blog, and pop me a link so I can read your answers.
As far as checking out some other interesting peeps, and depending on your interests, in addition to Khajj above, consider these folks. I don’t know if they’ll play the game, but they’re worth a follow on Twitter.
K. Jean King
James L. Sutter